I don’t know why they bothered

Naysayers. We’ve all got ’em in one form or another:

It’s that one friend who changes the subject every time you talk about a recent success.

It’s a relative who feels free to say “I just don’t see how you’re going to do that!”

Or in my case, that one person who listened to me talk about a business win and replied: “Isn’t it nice you have something to keep you busy while your husband is at work.” 

Know what? All that negative talk has zero to do with you and me, and everything to do with them. Period.

We humans are self-centered creatures. When we see those around us doing something new & exciting, we immediately compare it to our own situation. The resulting emotion becomes a thought that pops into our heads and out of our mouths. We don’t always like it when the people around us change – it’s uncomfortable and makes us worry “What about me?”

Don’t believe me? Here’s a perfect example:

A neighbor on our street has been laboring on his family’s house renovation for months, pulling long hours and consulting with different professionals. His family even moved out over the summer so they could really dive in. The updated house has an addition, new rooms, a lovely deck, a gorgeous entryway, plus a repaired stone chimney and fresh siding in a new color. I smile every time I look at it.

My husband was chatting with some other neighbors and the topic turned to the renovation activity. Fred thought he was hearing things when our neighbor said: “They spent so much time on it and it doesn’t look any different. I don’t know why they bothered.”

Say what?!?

I thought about that conversation and realized that our naysaying neighbors live in a house that hasn’t been updated in decades. I’ve lived here for 20 years and have seen plenty of renovation/construction on this street, but nothing with this particular property. Their house literally doesn’t look any different, while all around them the rest of us have made changes. It makes me wonder what they were thinking about themselves when they made that comment.

So the next time someone tries to rain on your parade, take a beat, remember it’s about them not you, and continue on your rockstar path. Who knows? You might even inspire the naysayers to create their own changes.