Make Your Standards Your Superpower

This morning my clients and I had a deep, rich conversation about standards & boundaries. It came about because we’ve been exploring the idea of identity, especially in terms of being business owners. 

Frustration can easily derail our work (and our lives) when we don’t set expectations by knowing and sharing our standards - there’s simply no way for others to meet them if we don’t communicate them. Think of the client who always cancels at the last minute or who takes weeks to respond to your outreach. They’re probably not meeting your standards, and progress is probably not happening. 

I shared a personal story of a time I easily communicated my standards to someone else. The results have been spectacular. 

Years ago, I was single & dating. To give you an idea of how long ago this was: I was dating guys I met through a personal ad I placed in an actual, printed newspaper 🫠

(Some of you will remember this. Others will think I’m making it all up.)

Anyhoo - it was a frustrating process and I finally packed it in. 

Soon afterward, I met a guy at a bar. We had a nice chat, seemed to connect, and had a fun evening. As I was getting ready to leave, he asked for my phone number. 

Here’s what I said:

I’d be happy to give you my phone number, but only if you’re actually going to use it. We’ve had a nice time tonight and nothing else has to come from it. So if you don’t plan on calling me, tell me and we don’t have to waste each other’s time. If I give you my number, I’m expecting to hear from you. I’m fine either way. 

His eyes got big and he said “I’m going to call you.” I gave him my number. 

On Monday when I got into work, I had a voicemail from Sunday. It was this guy who said “I’ve been trying to call you at home, but your number’s been busy (again, olden days when we had telephones attached to the wall and roommates who shared the same line). I’m calling you at work so you know I actually called you. I’d love to see you again.”

💥 Bazaam 💥

He not only heard me when I stated my standards, he honored them. As a reward, I married him (it’ll be so much fun when he reads this - hi babe!) 

When we communicate our standards early on in any relationship, it sets us up for big success. When we don’t, it’s easy for things to go sideways. 

My standards for my clients are: women who are curious, who are open to trying new things, who take action, who show up for themselves and others, who believe in the power of community. My experience is when I say yes to someone who doesn’t meet those standards, we both lose.

What are YOUR standards? Go even deeper than those for working relationships - how about for yourself, how you run your business? Are those standards being honored or do you have an opportunity to clarify / communicate them?