Swim in your own lane

Pop quiz:
Pretend you’re at the gym, getting ready to lift a set of dumbbells. How does each of the following scenarios make you feel?

1) Using heavier dumbbells than ever before for your workout

2) Using heavier dumbbells than ever before for your workout, then noticing that the person next to you has an even heavier set

If you’re anything like me, comparing yourself to the person next to you never ends well. Once I notice that she’s using bigger dumbbells than me, I immediately feel I’m not accomplishing enough (or good enough, or strong enough or whatever enough). What’s wacky is this is true even if I’m initially happy with my new accomplishment. Once we notice someone doing “better,” our accomplishment doesn’t feel as great.

My favorite remedy for this is to swim in my own lane. If I focus completely on myself, there’s no room for comparing myself to someone else.

There’s a great saying: Compare and despair. I find it’s true in so many situations:

• on an airplane, peeking into the First Class cabin to watch the champagne flow
• visiting another coach’s beautiful website and believing that she must have many more clients than I do
• reading a gorgeously written essay and wondering why on earth I bother to write anything at all

It’s all tied to my mindset. When I’m in a scarcity mindset, I believe the lie that there’s only so much to go around and if someone else has something, it means I can’t have it too. When I’m in an abundance mindset, nothing gets in my way and I soar. The key is to stay in the abundance mindset and stop comparing ourselves to others.