Uncomfortable in Portugal

Do you speak Portuguese? Neither do I.

This was abundantly clear as soon as we arrived in Lisbon last month. We traveled there from Spain, where everyone we met assured us that Portuguese is just like Spanish.

It’s not.

Portuguese sounds like a really, really drunk Spanish person trying to speak Russian for the first time, filling in the vocabulary gaps with nonsense words. Usually we can get by with a few key words and phrases, but we struggled to wrap our heads around the unusual pronunciation.

Once we settled into our apartment in Lisbon, we headed off for dinner. We wound up in a neighborhood joint, brightly lit and filled with chattering locals. There wasn’t much of a greeting when we got there, just a sweep of an arm to indicate our table and two menus dropped in front of us. Immediately, I felt the wave of discomfort I feel when I go somewhere new and I don’t speak the language or know the customs. Fred felt it too and we shrank in our seats. I hate this, feeling unprepared, lost and foreign. It happens every time I travel. It doesn’t last long, but when I’m in it, it feels endless.

Opening the menus, my plans of using a translate app were scrapped when I realized I couldn’t decipher the hand-written list. I’d heard the manager speak a little English, so I said to Fred “Our only hope is asking this guy to help us – call him over.” Fred looked around but had trouble getting his attention in the crowded restaurant. We looked at each other and tried to figure out what to do next.

Just then, I heard a gentle voice say “Excuse me, would you like some help with the menu?” Turning my head to the woman seated next to me, I said “I would love that more than anything.” The couple next to us spoke English fluently and walked us through the menu, making recommendations along the way. She told us she had lived in several other countries and remembered what it felt like when someone helped her with a new language. Thanks to them, we ordered a delicious meal paired with a fun conversation.

When the bill came, our experience with our new friends (and perhaps the wine) encouraged Fred to ask our brusque waiter how to say a specific phrase in Portuguese. We were rewarded with a big smile as he whipped out a pen and wrote out a quick language lesson on the paper table covering. We got even more smiles as we tried out the phrases he suggested. And when we went back to the restaurant at the end of the week, we were greeted with hugs.

So what did I learn? It’s the same lesson I learn every time I travel: people love to connect and love to help other people. It’s part of the reason we travel and we have a list of friends around the world because of it. Also important: get comfortable with being uncomfortable. If we had left the restaurant to find a more “friendly” place, it wouldn’t be the rewarding and memorable experience that it is.