Got resistance?

I was at Kripalu this past weekend to take a storytelling course with Matthew Dicks. Matt’s an astonishingly gifted storyteller who’s appeared on many stages. Heard of The Moth? Matt’s won twenty-seven of The Moth’s StorySLAMs and four GrandSLAMs. Everything listed in the syllabus sounded like something I absolutely needed for my own storytelling. I was going to learn what I needed from one of the best.

Which is why it’s really weird that I decided to hole up in my room, thinking to myself “I’ll just stay here and skip the workshop.”

I encounter resistance like this constantly. I’ll sign up for something, then when the time comes, I change my mind. Usually I don’t even have a good reason except that it feels like too much work to get up and go.

I rarely bail, but I do often think of it. My coach likes to say that we resist the things we need the most. She’s 100% correct. I don’t know why this is, but it is. I also find that the more I resist something, the better that something winds up being.

You’d think I’d learn, but resistance is a tricky trickster that loves to swoop in at the last minute. In the case of this past weekend, I’d managed to sign up for this workshop, pay good money for it, pack my bags and drive 2½ hours to Kripalu. It wasn’t until I unloaded my stuff that I noticed I’d also packed some resistance, enough that I was willing to disregard everything I’d already invested to sequester myself in my room.

Finally, about ten minutes before the session started, I pushed myself out the door and into the workshop space. It was a million percent worth it.  It was everything I hoped to learn and more, provided by a super-effective and very generous instructor. We got a ton of information that instead of overwhelming me, felt like it made perfect sense and could be implemented immediately. I was thrilled. But resistance wasn’t quite done with me yet.

On the third day, we each had a chance to put our learning into action by telling a story in front of the group and have Matt give a critique. Partway through the session, resistance put an arm around me, leaned over and whispered in my ear: Let’s walk out right now, before it’s our turn.  The introvert in me had hit her limit of being with people and needed no further encouragement. So I concocted a ruse: I’d pretend Fred just called and that I had to get home. As I was standing up, cell phone in-hand as my prop, Matt said “Lisa, you didn’t speak yet, did you?” Um, no. And now I had to.

The story I picked is one about a relationship from many years ago.  It includes very personal details that I’ve never told strangers before, something that only occurred to me as I was positioning myself in front of the group. The only way out is through I reminded myself and I told my story. Three and a half minutes later, I was done. And ready to bolt from the room.

Matt started his critique with “Here’s the first thing you did that’s great . . .” Which thrilled me. Not only did I do something really well, I did at least two somethings really well. He told me what he liked about my story and changes he’d suggest. It was a few minutes of feedback that I know will make this story (and all of my others) so much better.

The more I resist something, the better that something winds up being. Absolutely true, every freakin’ time.

Click here to check out Matt’s website, which includes his Moth appearances.